What to Do with a Child Who Refuses to Do School Work?

While it is common for children to refuse to do schoolwork, it is important to identify the root cause of their behaviour. Establishing a sense of trust between the child and the parents is key. Trust enables open communication. Open communication, in turn, helps identify the root cause(s). The underlying issue could be boredom, difficulty in focusing, or any of a variety of other causes. While handling this issue, it is most important to address it calmly and not alarm or scare the child in any way.

How Do You Get a Child to Do School Work?

With most children, refusal to do school work is not a temporary problem. Anxiety is the main common cause. In most cases, children find the school work stressful and overwhelming and refusing to deal with it is a natural reaction. Here's what you can do to get them to do their schoolwork:

• Begin Early: It is never too early to start. When your children start school, set aside a time for ‘study time’. It could be a set time for reading or other activities every day. This establishes a routine early for some serious ‘work’ every day. This approach will save you the pushback that you might face if you demand discipline all of a sudden.

• Stay Calm: Staying calm is probably the most important thing parents need to do. Losing your cool or shouting and screaming at your child will make matters worse. Any anger will scare the child or push them into a corner where they become more adamant in their refusal to do school work.

• Set Clear Expectations: While anger will not work, firmness and clear expectations are crucial. Let your children know they need to get schoolwork done correctly and on time. Talk to them and set a fixed time of the day after school and on weekends for school work. Understand what aspects of school work they find difficult. Let them know that you are always available to help them. You can even hire a private tutor/separate home tutor to help with the learning process. It is important to remember that each child is unique. There is no single magic solution for overcoming a child’s refusal to do schoolwork.

• The Right Person for the Right Job: As parents, between the two of you, only one might be good at teaching. Nominate that person to help with the actual school work. The other person monitors the routine and provides support. A routine brings discipline and consistency. This conveys seriousness and makes the process more effective. Children then understand that refusing school work is not an option.

• Regular Interaction with Your Child’s Teachers. Maintain regular communication with your children’s teachers. This needs to be an ongoing process maintained throughout the year. If you have engaged the services of a private tutor/separate home tutor, you need to talk to them too. Teachers will help you better understand your child’s strengths and weaknesses. This will put you in a better position to support and help your child.

• Use Appropriate Incentives. Parents need to reinforce positive behaviour. You may need to offer some incentive for completing school work and getting high grades. The final aim would be to get the child to be self-motivated to complete school work and get high grades. In the beginning, this might require you to offer some incentives or rewards. The incentives and rewards could be in the form of an outing for a favourite snack, a movie, etc. It could also be extra TV or playtime. This makes the children perceive their parents as being fair and supportive. This reinforces good behaviour and overcomes their reluctance to do school work.

• Show Empathy. If your child finds it challenging to cope with schoolwork, you must show understanding and empathy. If your children are struggling despite their and your best efforts, there could be a deeper problem. Talk to your child and the teachers. Try a different approach. Try and understand if your child is facing some learning difficulties. An empathetic approach will help you know how your child learns best and then help most appropriately.

Final Words

Every child is different and has different motivations. Although it may take time, good communication helps discover the things that motivate them. Parents need to work with their children on an ongoing basis to look for solutions that will motivate them to learn. In the long term, this will help children develop the necessary knowledge and skills to be successful.

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