Top Tips on Polished English and Manners to Take Your Career Higher

Don’t you admire people who always know the perfectly right ways to speak, behave and dress – no matter what the situation, or even provocation? Their polish – when it comes to language and manners – is enviable. Now comes the better news: the same polished language and manners are attainable, too. The secret to how they have them can be yours. Here.

To begin with, we need to know what polished or refined speech and behavior are all about. It is the level of speech and conduct that is distinctly better than the rest, and is, often, consciously and particularly used to impress people.

It is the sort of training that people often visit ‘finishing schools’ to receive; the signs of which are sought by discerning employers and others with a particularly ‘classy’ taste.

Let us take a look at this video, to get an idea:

Now that we see the importance of polished language and manners, let us discuss them a bit more; shall we?

Giving Respect

Giving respect is key to receiving respect. Actually.

Let me share a story with you, to illustrate this point further.

My colleague and I had been invited to the palatial residence of a very rich and influential gentleman. He was playing a wonderful host to us, till, at the dining table, he complained of having a bad cold, kept wiping his nose with expensive tissue paper, and then dropping the used tissue papers on the floor right beside him, and ordering one of his helpers to pick them up and put them into the dustbin!

Sorry – but my colleague and I lost our appetite; along with much of our respect for the person.

With all due respect – the kind of behavior the man displayed that day was far from what can be called worthy of respect – because he had shown no respect for his helper; or even his guests’ feelings and tastes, for that matter.

What we need to keep in mind, therefore, is to give respect.

• Be considerate. Before saying or doing anything, think of how it is going to come across as, to others, and what impression it is going to create of yours. Please avoid doing and saying things that could put people off. One of the golden rules is: try not to do something you would not like others doing to you.
• Always use ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ – even if you are giving instructions or receiving what you believe is your right to receive.

For example: instead of a “Drive me back home!” to your chauffeur, you could always express the same matter more elegantly, with, “Could we please drive home, now?” followed by the name of the person you were speaking to. That employs politeness, adds a personal touch, and expresses respect. On reaching home, instead of a flat and final, “Park the car in the garage, bring the keys back to me, and then you can go home” you could say, “Would you please return the car to the garage and bring the keys back to me, before you leave for the day, (name of the person)? Thank you so much for everything you have done for me today. I really appreciate it,” with a warm smile.

Behave likewise, at a restaurant or store. Instead of “I want a ___” or “Get me a ___” you could always use “May I have a ____, please?” or “Please may I have…?” followed by a warm “Thank you” when you get it. People would love you and your manners; and you would love the results.

• Be sincere.

How would you like it, if you picked a book up to help a stranger who had dropped one of the several books that she was carrying, and she said a perfunctory ‘thank you’ to nobody in particular, looking away from you, nose high up in the air? Technically, she HAD said ‘thank you’ – but did that seem to come from her heart and reach yours? Being sincere is the key to communication. When we thank a person, we must express how genuinely we appreciate what they have said to, or done for us.

We need to look into their eyes, and say a soft, polite ‘thank you’ with a genuine smile.

Better still, if we address the person as we thank him/her. Example, “Thank you, Sara. That was really nice of you,” or “Thank you, Sir/Madam; so very kind of you to say/do that!”

In case we do not know the name of the person we need to thank, for example, a stranger helping us or a colleague whose name we are not sure of, we can always say, “May I know whom I am speaking to, in order to thank you, please?”

When we are thanking our seniors, especially, we always need to address the person: “Thank you, Sir/Madam” or “Thank you, Mr. Rodrigues!” Just a ‘thank you’ may seem very rude and impersonal.

Same applies when we say ‘Sorry’. Minus the smile, of course. Instead of looking into the eyes of the person, one could look down at one’s toes, while saying ‘sorry’.

“I am/we are sincerely sorry. This shall not be repeated by me/us, Sir/Madam,” sounds complete and courteous.

• Respect others’ personal space and matters.

Never, ever stand or sit too close to a person. Too close means close where you are ‘in touch’ with each other – involuntarily! Never ever ask personal questions, either – especially if you do not know each other well enough, or are at a public place.

This means, it is a total no-no to ask the lady seated next to you at a dinner party, “Oh! Aren’t you married?! And WHY?!” or asking your friend you have just bumped into at a crowded shopping mall, “Hey! Any news of that cousin of yours who had eloped?!”

Knowing Hierarchy

We need to know how to behave with people who are superior to us; for we can treat our peers the way we would treat equals and that would be comparatively simpler, and since we should never imagine there to be anyone or anything ‘inferior’, we need not get into that, at all.

By ‘superiors’, I mean to refer to people who are elder to us, or at a position higher than ours. That would mean our parents, grandparents, teachers, seniors at school, college, work…!

We know we do not speak to our parents or teachers or boss, the way we would casually and informally address our friends or younger siblings, perhaps.

Let’s take our manners a bit further than that, now.

We know a polite response to ‘thank you’ is, ‘you are welcome’ or ‘my pleasure’. What is the difference, anyway?

Well, it is much more polite and polished to say, “My pleasure, Sir/Madam,” if it is a senior thanking us. It shows that we feel pleased and privileged to have been able to assist them in any way. It would be even better to bow slightly and say with a smile, “The pleasure is entirely mine, Sir/Madam!” That would be truly elegant and classy. The person you say this to would remember you with great respect and pleasure, too.

‘You are welcome’ is more appropriate for peers, or juniors.

Picking up Positive Traits

The following video can teach us a lot about

• Good Manners
• Refined English
• Correct Pronunciation
• Correct Clothes
• Office Etiquette
• Good Handwriting
• Proper Posture
• Right Attitude

See? It is not just about learning good things from a class or tutor; it is also about being alert and picking the right traits up, from the right sources, no matter where we are or what we are doing!

Professional Language

The language you employ for work – as in official correspondence and conversation – and for communicating with the people you work for and with – should be as formal and dignified, as possible. That makes people respect you, and takes you higher.

• No bad or angry words.
• No words or sentences with double meanings.
• No personal remarks or details.
• Preferably ‘yes’ and not ‘yeah’.
• ‘No’ and not ‘nope’.
• The lesser use of ‘fillers’ in sentences, the better.
• ‘I beg your pardon’ and not ‘What?!’ or ‘Whazzat?!’

These forms of correct language, tone and behavior might seem a bit difficult to remember and adhere to, when we read or hear about them; but trust me, they become a part of you, if you follow them regularly. Wondering, how? Practice. Practise the best of language and manners whenever you can, and you would be amazed by the results that you draw, in no time!

Practise with your family, friends, colleagues…! Or, if you prefer to practise in privacy, to perfect your speech and tone and manner before you are ready to impress everyone else with them, try an app that can help you with it all!

You can do much better than you think you can. Just give it a try.