Should Parents Speak Their Native Language with Their Children

Picture this: a kid born to a Spanish speaking father and a Mandarin speaking mother could learn Spanish and Mandarin from his parents and English from the environment. And boom! You have a trilingual child. Only if it were that easy, then learning multiple languages would have been a piece of pie. The language issues in raising a child could be persistent and sometimes, permanent. After going through a number of blogs and articles which seemed redundant at one point of time, I resolved to write this one with the right facts.

The need for a global language and striving to implement English as one has tragically robbed the children of their vital language learning skills. This vital skill is, in fact, the grasp on their native language. If you are wondering how that can be true, let me tell you that I come armed with evidence. Here is an incident for you to consider. Isabel is an English Language Learner living in Costa Rica with her parents. Her parents speak Spanish and tidbits of English. So when her teacher announced in class one day, that they need to start speaking English at home, her parents were distressed. The dining table conversations which used to be a big hit previously exploring school, books, movies and more diminished to a mere greeting. Although the family reverted back to Spanish after a week of hesitant English, Isabel felt ashamed that her parents could not speak English.

Little did Isabel’s teacher know that her native language will open up a chest of knowledge and valuable experiences including her values. And pushing her towards another language before those values and skills have taken shape in her mind would not in any way aid in a bilingual transformation. Here’s a little food for your thought. Would a different language other than the native one be enough to inculcate in your child the values that you have been brought up with?

The language divide

The huge demand for globalization is the reason behind the increasing pressure for learning as many languages as possible. But the generation gap makes it a bit awkward for parents to keep up with the rapidly changing views and implementations, one of which manifests as a language barrier between them and their children. Parents, with an intention to help their children get ready for the incoming challenges, try to take up the job of exposing them to different languages as soon as they get out of the crib. But the question here is, how helpful is that? Or,is it any help at all?

The problem here is staring you right in the face. I will lay bare two theories for you to decide:

First, parents are more proficient in their native language. So their vocabulary, grammar skills and ease of communication will be stronger in the native language. Therefore, they would be able to provide consistent and effective support in that language to their children. Now if you put in a different language in the mix, then you are actually doing a disservice for him. Not only would he grow up with a stunted hold on the language, but might also develop delayed language skills.

The second theory goes like this. The native language is highly responsible for building up the basic skills in a child. If a child has a strong foundation in his native language, then he is more ready to learn a second language with ease and accuracy.

What can be done?

Did you know that learning more than more one language pushes back Alzheimer’s disease by 4-5 years? Did I see your eyebrows rising at the slight contradiction of this to the above two theories? So we need to come to a decision on what needs to be done to benefit the children. Comprehension comes faster than speaking. Expressing what your child understands is what matters.

Let’s take up an example. Let’s say little Jordan is born to English-speaking parents. So he grows up learning his native language which is English. His parents might want him to learn a couple of languages other than English, say German and Spanish. They can teach Jordan Spanish and German for ‘moon’, ‘dog’, ‘tree’ and so on. But his language in the classroomwill quickly outpace his parents’ ability to keep up. Will they be able to explain quadratic equations in two other languages? Will they be able to do this for all the subjects that he is taking? They won’t. And eventually those two language skills will die out in their infancy.

Now the only solution to this is, focusing on one language first which is the native language. When he develops a natural fluency, parents can decide which to choose as a second language and focus on that.

A few compromises

There are certain compromises that need to be made to work things out in your child’s favour. Jordan might become fluent in a second language conversationally, but his vocabulary will lag. So there is one thing we need to focus on and that is communication. The ability to speak with lots of people from different countries. His parents might have to compromise on the fact that he would not understand the German jokes or hold a heated debate in German. He might not be able to keep up at a German school. There’s compromise there too. Also speaking the language could be his only forte.

All this needs is figuring out a balance to hold up every end and make it meaningful and relevant. We all know that we can’t do it all. But accomplishing as much is possible within the confinement of your child’s benefit could make all the difference. And that could start with speaking your native language with your child since that is one step towards helping your child be proficient in a second language.

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