Lower the Burden of Perfection From Your Child's Mind

“My child will be a supermodel. My child will be a doctor. My child will be an engineer. My kid will be a scientist one day.”- These are the everyday dialogues of today’s parents.

Common! A single human can’t be everything you wish. It’s irrational and absurd.

But, at times we also desire for quietude from our kids thinking that’s a simple ask. We firmly believe parenthood is all about fulfilling our children’s requirements, monitoring their health and proper growth. While craving for this self-peace we fail to understand the needs of our kiddies’ little brains.

Being insane to achieve mental peace when a child does not meet the said expectation, the ruthlessness of the parents increases the willfulness of the toddler to become disobedient. Challenging the natural instinct of a child, we disrupt their thought process and morality towards life.

Keep in your mind that shaping of your child will come with your patience. You love your kids and want the best of everything for them. But, you decide, how can a single person pursue everything? Plus, there is a specific age for particular activities. A 4-year-old can’t be a pilot, or a 2-year-old can’t enter into Marathon.

You may be confused about whether a 5-year-old can clean himself/ herself appropriately or an 8-year-old can study more than a couple of hours at a stretch. The primary reason behind the confusion is that a parent expects too much from the kids.

You need to estimate a specific kid’s abilities correctly. Studies show that we usually expect our kids to do things that are not yet fit for them and even punish and judge them if they fail to accomplish the task.

Every child is different and develops uniquely. We have to respect their individuality.

Do not compare your child to others

Scientific research has shown that we pay heed too much on the overestimation of the kids' self-control, equilibrium of the performances, the ability for perseverance and social capability. It is absolutely normal if a 2-year-old toddler throws tantrums if he/she is withdrawn from the usual routine. It’s not rational to surmise a 4-year-old little fellow to give 100% concentration on his/her math problems.

Little kids have imaginative minds. They daydream about everything. It vanishes with the passing time and growing maturity. The parents’ stress level soars high when the little souls don’t behave as per the expectations. It triggers certain changes in the elders’ behaviors. They become impatient and gradually irritated to the boiling point that ultimately leads to hitting the small kid or punishing him/her harshly.

If you continue to be a monster, your child will try to dodge your authority and keep secrets which may lead them to the wrong pathway of life. It has been surveyed that children of over-strict parents become criminals.

What should you do?

• Concentrate on the work process instead of the result.

• Direct the kids’ talents towards accomplishment slowly and steadily with patience.

• Don’t hurry and let the child get on track.

• Wait for the right age for the specific tasks.

• Overloading a child is a complete prohibition.

• Watch what is important. Don’t get confused by seeing the varieties of things going on in your surroundings.

• If you face any strong opposition from the kids, revert from the distinct want for few days. Return to it with less demand.

• Don’t be too harsh with a small kid. It will make him/her stubborn.

• Make the learning environment funny and not gloomy. If the education becomes fun-filled, then it will attract the kids to participate gladly.

• It’s the natural tendency of the humans to view the world as per the personal priorities.

• Be less strict, make them sit for studies for less time, force them less to do a particular homework, etc.

• Allow the child to chill and play.

• Try to recognize the actual reason behind the child’s specific behavior.

Remember that the childhood habits set the life patterns. Expectations are good. Setting goal is okay. Check your projections. You are dealing with a small child who is encountering a variety of things for the first time. Their minds and body are growing, and it needs time to be fully aware and matured. Reconsider what’s negotiable in your exigency.

Have a break and think positively. Plan accordingly. Consult a counselor who can assure you the right suggestions for child handling. Be their role models. They will learn from you.